Franco Leehive

Professor Miller

English 110

18 February 2025

The Lack of Empathy

The introduction of accessible technology was a major turning point in society’s growing lack of empathy. Sherry Turkle, a world-renowned researcher from MIT, discusses in her Essay “The Empathy Diaries,” the ways in which technology is destructive to our culture and the ever-growing dangers it poses. Since the late 20^th century, technology, and ease of accessing technology have been expanding at a rapid pace, and with that increase, empathy in kids has been going down. When overused or used in incorrect ways, technology damages the way we can communicate with others by destroying our connection to the real world. This technology can be from our phones to our computers and has been damaging our mental connections with others for too long. I feel that technology is not being used right in our world and culture. These amazing inventions of computers and smartphones which can give you information in a second are amazing. That is, if they are used in the right ways and in moderation. If things do not change regarding the use of phones and technology with children, future generations will only succumb to the same lack of empathy that today’s children possess.

                In-person conversations are necessary for children to have so that they are ready for the real world. In the subheading “They Make Acquaintances, but Their Connections Seem Superficial” when discussing the connections that kids make with others, Turkle argues, “Time in simulation gets children ready for more time in simulation. Time with people teaches children how to be in a relationship, beginning with the ability to have a conversation” (Turkle 346). In this quote, we have been told by Turkle about what the effects of the high use of technology are. Turkle is saying that when these children are sitting around all day, responding to what a phone is telling them, they are losing that ability to converse with one another. Turkle further brings home this point by stating that “As middle schoolers began spending more time texting, they lost the practice in face-to-face talking” (346). I like what this quote is saying because it shows how this problem has real-world effects on these kids, and their actions are being observed by teachers in the classrooms and playgrounds. These conversations with technology also hurt us when it comes to the responses, they require kids to give them. Turkle talks about how these conversations with computers do not need certain responses, “Real people demand responses to what they are feeling. And not just any response” (346). Turkle is saying that these connections made with technology are not real connections like those with people who require responses to how they are feeling. I like how Turkle puts it with the quote “…computers offer the illusion of companionship without the demand of friendship” (346). This puts into perspective how damaging technology is to the connections we make because if someone treats a computer poorly, they will only translate that behavior into the real world. They see this computer as a companion so therefore they will, since the computer does not require a response to emotions, treat others that way thinking they will not get emotional and if they do, they cannot respond to those stimuli.

A clear sign of the overuse of technology is when kids start to lose empathy towards others and act out. When Turkle was observing children’s behaviors at Holbrooke Middle School one account she talked about was one of a seventh grader:

[The seventh grader] was almost robotic in her response. She said, ‘I don’t have feelings about this.’ She couldn’t read the signals that the other student was hurt. These kids aren’t cruel. But they are not emotionally developed. Twelve year olds play on the playground like eight year olds. The way they exclude one another is the way eight year olds would play. They don’t seem able to put themselves in the place of other children. They say to other students: ‘You can’t play with us.’ They are not developing that way of relating where they listen and learn how to look at each other and hear each other.

                Turkle states that these kids are plain out being vicious to each other and that is the result of kids having easy access to the phones are different devices around them. When reading this passage, it should make you feel almost angry in a way when hearing how these children are treating each other. Hearing how this girl says, “I don’t have feelings about this.” It should make people realize how damaging technology is. I for one when reading that feel fed up with the system that has enabled the overuse of technology and has made it the norm to give children these devices that have been ruining their emotional state and causing a lack of development in these kids. The words they use are very blatant and are not nice in any way. Saying “You can’t play with us.” It is such a rude way of saying that too and shows how blatant they are being, because if they were acting nice, then they could have used a nicer way of saying that but since they have been accustomed to the harsh truth of technology, they are using rude blatant words to put down their classmates.

                Technology is just the present form of humanity’s crutches. Turkle discusses in her essay A Virtuous Circle. Which is the thought of how the world is not some much different as it was in the past and people are no different. The only thing that has changed is that there is a new thing to draw people’s attention from what is happening around them. The Virtuous Circle also refers to how we need time to think for ourselves and how time alone creates a better self in people. Turkle states,

Solitude reinforces a secure sense of self, and with that, the capacity for empathy. Then, conversation with others provides rich material for self-reflection. Just as alone we prepare to talk together, together we learn how to engage in a more productive solitude. Technology disrupts this virtuous circle (348).

                Turkle is saying that we need time to reflect on ourselves or we will not be able to grow as humans in the world we are in. She then furthers this point by declaring that “Technology disrupts this virtuous circle.” This is a very strong line, there are no indirect states, she is saying this very sternly. I agree with this point of view because it shows how much time we really need to build ourselves as a person. I know, for me, time by myself is extremely necessary for my well-being. When I am recharging my batteries, I try my best not to go on my phone at all because I know that in the end there is nothing good that will come out of that. If others could be more like that, not always going on devices, we would be able to have very deep conversations with each other.

                Turkle’s essay, “The Empathy Diaries” efficiently encapsulates the narrative that phones and other devices are the reason for the increase in lack of empathy in children. Kids are accustomed to this way of life from the youngest they can be. Some kids now get phones earlier and earlier in their lives. They can be as young as 6 years old in some cases. This behavior with adults allowing them to have access to these devices at such an early age is and never will be beneficial to their lives. This behavior is significant because this can lead to more kids lacking in empathy in the future. That lack of empathy, not being able to feel other people’s emotions when having a conversation, will lead them down a path of destruction when it comes to the real world. Not being able to feel others’ emotions will make living their lives more difficult in the long run. It may seem not bad to let kids use phones now but just think, if you hold off on giving them that phone for just a couple of years, you may be able to substantially increase their ability to have functioning conversations with other people in the long run. Also helping them find jobs, get better education, and increase political knowledge.

Works Cited

Turkle, Sherry. The Empathy Diaries: A Memoir. Penguin Press, 2021.